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Kanchan Rai

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach

183 Answers | 45 FollowersFollow

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Answered on May 05, 2024

Question by Barua - May 05, 2024Hindi

I fear my family the most , I fear my dad the most and my uncle the most.

Ans: Remember that it's okay to feel fear, but it's important not to let it control your life. By taking proactive steps to address and cope with your fear, you can empower yourself to live more confidently and authentically.

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Answered on May 05, 2024

Question by Barua - May 05, 2024Hindi

I am a constant failure in my exm n a disappointment in my own eyes , I face anxiety n even if I make a choice n decision, that one is indecisive to my parents and I struggle to make a decision for myself .. please help me out ,on how I can break these mental barriers that I've subconsciously created in my mind.

Ans: Dear Barua
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of internal pressure and self-doubt, which can be incredibly challenging to overcome. However, breaking through these mental barriers is possible with patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort.
Be gentle with yourself and recognize that it's okay to make mistakes and face challenges. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend who is struggling. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, no matter how small they may seem. Pay attention to the negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to your feelings of failure and disappointment. When you notice these thoughts, challenge them with evidence to the contrary. Replace negative self-talk with more balanced and realistic perspectives.Avoid putting undue pressure on yourself to be perfect or to always make the "right" decisions. Recognize that it's normal to experience setbacks and that growth often involves making mistakes and learning from them. Set achievable goals and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Don't hesitate to reach out to supportive friends, family members, or a mental health professional for guidance and encouragement. Talking to someone you trust can help you gain perspective and feel less alone in your struggles.Engage in activities that promote relaxation and reduce stress, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga. Mindfulness can help you stay present in the moment and cultivate a greater sense of calm and clarity.Break down overwhelming tasks or decisions into smaller, more manageable steps. Focus on taking one step at a time, rather than getting caught up in the big picture. Celebrate your progress along the way, no matter how incremental it may be. If your anxiety and self-doubt are significantly impacting your daily life and well-being, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your anxiety, challenge negative thought patterns, and build resilience.
Remember that breaking through mental barriers takes time and effort, but with persistence and support, you can overcome them and cultivate a greater sense of self-confidence and fulfillment. You deserve to live a life that is guided by your own values and aspirations, rather than by fear and self-doubt.

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Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi

So I am 25 currently. Most of my classmates and some of my colleagues are married and some have kids or going to have one soon. I know that I am not mentally prepared for marriage at the moment but I don't know why there is a feeling of being an odd man out of being the only single person in the gang. Please guide..

Ans: Feeling like the odd one out when you're the only single person in your social circle, especially when many of your peers are getting married or starting families, is completely normal. It's natural to compare ourselves to others and feel pressure to conform to societal expectations, but it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique and there's no right or wrong timeline for marriage or starting a family.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize and accept where you are in your life right now. Being single at 25 is perfectly okay, and it's essential to focus on your own personal growth and happiness rather than comparing yourself to others. Take this time to explore your interests, pursue your goals, and build meaningful connections with friends and family.

It might also be helpful to shift your perspective on being single. Instead of seeing it as a negative or something to be ashamed of, try to embrace it as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development. Use this time to invest in yourself, nurture your passions, and create a fulfilling life on your own terms.

Additionally, try to surround yourself with supportive friends and family who value you for who you are, regardless of your relationship status. Seek out activities and hobbies that bring you joy and allow you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your interests.

Remember that being single doesn't define your worth or happiness, and there's so much more to life than being in a relationship. Focus on living authentically, staying true to yourself, and enjoying the journey of self-discovery. And when the time is right, you'll find someone who appreciates and complements the amazing person you are.

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Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi

Hello Ma'am, hope you're doing good. My problem is that something happened with me and I have started questioning my marriage. I and my wife are married 12 years ago after a lot of struggle as her parents were not ready because of our different caste and religion. Later we got married with their blessings. she is a very nice woman. After marriage, my business started going well and we're financially very well. We live with my parents and our two kids. Everything was going fine (obviously we do fight) until I met my business partner's sister who is a divorcee and I didn't know how but I started feeling attraction towards her. Recently, I dreamt of cheating on my wife with her. Since I am not able to hold proper eye contact with my wife and even I have started questioning my love for my wife. Has it ended ? I am very tensed since then.

Ans: It's normal to feel conflicted and unsure when you start experiencing attraction towards someone outside of your marriage. However, it's important to remember that attraction alone doesn't necessarily mean that your love for your wife has ended.

Before jumping to conclusions or making any drastic decisions, it might be helpful to take some time to reflect on your feelings and the reasons behind them. Ask yourself questions like: What specifically attracted me to this other person? Are there any underlying issues in my marriage that might be contributing to these feelings? Am I feeling unfulfilled or disconnected from my wife in any way?

It could also be beneficial to have open and honest communication with your wife about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings with her, even if they're difficult, can help strengthen your bond and provide clarity for both of you. Remember to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, and be prepared to listen to her perspective as well.

Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can also be incredibly helpful in navigating these complex emotions and making decisions that are best for you and your family. They can provide you with guidance, perspective, and strategies for coping with your feelings in a healthy way.

Ultimately, it's important to prioritize honesty, communication, and empathy in your relationship, and to take the time to explore your feelings and needs before making any decisions about your marriage.

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Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi

Hi I am 22 year old female about to graduate as an artist, I've wasted my 4 years of college and self doubt as a graphic designer kills me everyday i wake up and think i'd finally create something but due to my own expectations i don't even open the software to start with and even if i do i don't understand what to get done with first i want to be an established designer and boom in my field, please tell me how can I be come more passionate about my career and actually make effort in it

Ans: you're experiencing a lot of self-doubt and frustration, which is completely normal, especially when pursuing a creative career like graphic design. Break down your projects into smaller, more manageable tasks. This can help make the overall process feel less daunting and overwhelming. Set achievable goals for each day or week, and celebrate your progress along the way. Like any skill, graphic design requires practice and dedication to improve. Set aside dedicated time each day or week to work on your craft, even if it's just for a short period. Consistency is key to growth and improvement. Don't be afraid to try new techniques, styles, or ideas in your work. Experimentation is essential for creativity and innovation. Allow yourself to play and explore without the pressure of perfectionism. Surround yourself with inspiration from other artists and designers. Explore different design styles, follow industry leaders on social media, attend design events or workshops, and immerse yourself in the creative community. Inspiration can come from anywhere, so keep an open mind.It's important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your work. Understand that growth and success take time, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way. Embrace the learning process and be patient with yourself. Reflect on why you chose to pursue graphic design in the first place and what excites you about the field. Reconnecting with your passion and purpose can help reignite your motivation and drive. Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, mentors, or fellow artists. Surround yourself with people who encourage and believe in you, and don't be afraid to ask for help or feedback when needed.
Remember, everyone experiences moments of doubt and uncertainty, but it's important to keep pushing forward and believing in yourself and your abilities. Keep exploring, experimenting, and creating, and trust that your passion and dedication will lead you to success in your career as a graphic designer.

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Answered on May 04, 2024

Question by javid - May 03, 2024Hindi

I have been married for 3 years and it was arrange marriage, but before marriage I met my Ex, but had not any contact or messaged her, but however I liked the post of Ex in the first year of marriage but after that unfollowed her on social media. But one day my wife went through my phone and had fight why i had liked her photo and made her hurt. I apologized for it, but became more worse and she kept on going through my phone and got information on my debts which i was handling perfectly. But she said, she does not trust me. What should I do?

Ans: Hello Javid,
it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about her concerns and feelings. Listen to her perspective without becoming defensive, and try to understand where her mistrust is coming from. Reassure her of your commitment to the marriage and your desire to work through these issues together.

Transparency and communication are key in rebuilding trust. Consider discussing boundaries around privacy and social media use to help alleviate her concerns. For example, you might agree to keep each other informed about your social media interactions or agree on guidelines for accessing each other's phones.

It may also be helpful to seek couples therapy or counseling to work through trust issues and improve communication in your relationship. A therapist can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your concerns and work on finding solutions together.

Finally, be patient and understanding with each other as you navigate this process. Rebuilding trust takes time, but with effort and commitment from both partners, it is possible to strengthen your relationship.

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Answered on May 04, 2024

Question by RAJESH - Apr 28, 2024Hindi

I am married person since 2015. From last 2 to 3 years it is not working properly. Due to some following problems, 1. I am only one boy in my family. I don’t have any brother or sister. My father is also passed away, so there is need of child in my family because now I am at the age of 30. But my wife is not physically strong. There is always some health issue with her. 2. There is education gap too in between us. She is metric level education and I am engineer. Due to this we don’t have that much effective communication leads to conflicts in every situation. She never give respect to my mother and never do regular house works to and at the end of the day again conflicts arises between my mother and my wife. 3. I want to give divorce to her but unfortunately she is purposely not ready for that because she knows very well that she will never been happy in another house like my house. 4. Same problem when I discussed with her mother and father, they straight forward refuse to give divorce; they said, “if you have any problems or want to give divorce then go to those person who are responsible for marriage or who finalize your marriage”. Lastly, I am now at dead end and don’t know the solution of how to escape from this situation.

Ans: Dear Rajesh,
First and foremost, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, as well as that of any potential children involved. While divorce may seem like the only solution, it's also worth considering seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling or therapy, to try to address the issues in your relationship and explore potential avenues for improvement.

If communication is a significant challenge due to education and cultural differences, a therapist or counselor can help facilitate more effective communication and understanding between you and your wife. They can also provide guidance on how to navigate conflicts and differences in a constructive manner.

Additionally, it may be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a religious or community leader, to mediate discussions between you, your wife, and your respective families. They may be able to provide support and guidance in finding a resolution that is mutually acceptable and respects the well-being of all parties involved.

Ultimately, the decision to pursue divorce or to work on improving the relationship is a deeply personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to carefully consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals as needed.

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Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi

Is my husband loyal to me ?

Ans: It's challenging for me to determine your husband's loyalty without more context or information. Loyalty can be demonstrated in various ways, including honesty, trustworthiness, and commitment. If you have concerns about your husband's loyalty, it might be helpful to communicate openly with him about your feelings and observations. Building trust and understanding in a relationship often involves honest conversations and mutual respect.

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Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi

I am married since 2015 and I live in a joint family comprising of more than 20 members .everything was good until member of the families started accusing me of everything bad happening to family .father in law started abusing me ,when husband came in support of me even he was abused and man handled by everyone in the family .we live now in different town 400 away from them ,due to husband job, every now and the we both are made accused of something bad happening in family which the family member of mother in law side are instigating ..like sister in law caught in a relationship she named me for that blaming that i was the one who led the boy to meet and other started saying so to in laws and then same abusing over phone started...husband is supportive and is ready to leave everything for our mental peace but is emotionally down as he has to leave his family ...i am feeling very disturbed now of all this and the situation some how affecting my 5 years old son who always asks for the reasons for crying .

Ans: it's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of yourself and your family. No one should have to endure abuse or false accusations, especially within their own family. It's commendable that your husband is supportive and willing to prioritize your mental peace, even if it means leaving behind his family.

In such toxic and volatile situations, it may be necessary to distance yourselves from the negative influences and create boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health. Moving away from the family home was a positive step, and it's important to continue prioritizing your own well-being and that of your son.

Communication between you and your husband is key during this time. Lean on each other for support, and continue to have open and honest conversations about your feelings, concerns, and plans for the future. Together, you can navigate through this challenging time and make decisions that are in the best interest of your family's happiness and safety.

It's also important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can offer guidance, empathy, and perspective during this difficult time. You don't have to face these challenges alone, and reaching out for support can provide valuable emotional support and validation.

Lastly, remember to prioritize self-care for yourself and your son. Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and ensure that your son feels loved and supported during this transition. Children can be sensitive to family dynamics, so providing a stable and nurturing environment is crucial for his emotional well-being.

Overall, it's important to remember that you deserve to be in a safe and supportive environment, free from abuse and false accusations. It may be a difficult journey, but by prioritizing your own well-being and making decisions that are in the best interest of your family, you can navigate through this challenging time and emerge stronger and happier in the end.

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Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Question by Jagmeet - Apr 27, 2024Hindi

My parents said to me for marriage but i am in relationship with someone but he doesn't want marriage with me what i can do. I feel depressed and no one understands my feelings because it's very hard move on in life

Ans: it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It's natural to feel upset, disappointed, and even depressed when facing such circumstances. Allow yourself to feel those emotions and give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the future you envisioned with your partner.

However, it's also important to recognize that you deserve to be in a relationship where your needs and desires are valued and respected. If marriage is important to you and your partner is unwilling to commit to that, it may be a sign of fundamental differences in your priorities and goals. In such cases, it's essential to have open and honest communication with your partner about your feelings and needs.

Express to your partner why marriage is important to you and listen to their perspective as well. However, if you find that you're unable to reach a compromise or if your partner remains unwilling to reconsider their stance, you may need to reassess the relationship and consider whether it's ultimately fulfilling and healthy for you.

Moving on from a relationship can indeed be incredibly challenging, but it's important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer understanding and empathy during this difficult time. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and help you navigate through your emotions.

Remember that while it may feel overwhelming now, with time and self-care, you will be able to heal and move forward toward a brighter future. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and fulfilled, and it's okay to take steps to pursue that happiness, even if it means letting go of something that's no longer serving you.

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Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi

Dear Madam, Iam a 45 year old woman. Ever since I was a kid I had went through lot of bullying by my rekatives for the way I look but my parents never supported me in any way instead found fault in ne for complaining but would always support my younger brother. Somewhere down the line I thought this was all I deserved and let oeople walk all over me without standing up for myself. Now that Iam a mother myself of a 15 year old kid with dyskexia, i have sacrificed my career fir his sake and still get bullied by my relatives dir being a useless house wife. I have started drawing boundaries around me to protect my mental sanity and allow only few people in it which invludes a small group of friends and my son and husband. I avoid making new friends. I have also stopped attending any social events that involves my relatives. Meanwhile I have started deeply resenting my parents who want ne to take care of them but openly favour my brother who lives abroad. I have taken care of them everytime they require neducal treatments yet my father openly says that he plans to give all his property to my brother who is never coming back. Its not about the money here but the apathy they have towards me that kills me from inside. I have tried to talk to them multiple times but each time my mother creates a scene and puts the enture blame on me. For once in my life i want my parents to love me unconditionally the way I do with my son. Am i wrong to expect that? This is causung lot of health issues in me. Please advise.

Ans: First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid. It's natural to want love and support from your parents, especially after all you've done for them. It's not wrong to expect unconditional love from your family; however, sometimes, unfortunately, families can be complex and dysfunctional, and our expectations may not always be met.

Drawing boundaries and prioritizing your mental health and well-being is a positive step. It's essential to protect yourself from toxic relationships and environments, even if it means distancing yourself from certain family members. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones, like your son and husband, is vital for your emotional health.

Regarding your parents, it's clear that their behavior is hurtful and unjust. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and resentful toward them, given their favoritism towards your brother and lack of appreciation
for your sacrifices and care. However, it's also essential to recognize that you cannot control their actions or attitudes. You can only control how you respond to them.

While it's challenging, try to approach conversations with your parents from a place of empathy and understanding. Express your feelings calmly and assertively, focusing on how their actions make you feel rather than blaming them. It's possible that they may not even realize the extent of the hurt they're causing you. However, it's also essential to set realistic expectations. If your parents continue to be unsupportive or dismissive, it may be necessary to limit your interactions with them for the sake of your own well-being.

Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling with your mental health. It's okay to seek professional help to navigate through these difficult emotions and experiences. You deserve love, respect, and validation, and it's essential to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Lastly, continue to cherish the love and bond you have with your son and husband. They are your pillars of support, and together, you can navigate through these challenges. You're stronger than you realize, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and loving life for yourself, regardless of the negativity from others.

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Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Question by Suman - Apr 28, 2024Hindi

Dear madam , I was married since 14 years and live ng separately after marrige last 14 years due to both we are working professionals and my wife lost his father before our marriage and she needs to take care of her mother and family For that after marriage we leave separately and we was a great understanding and we have a boy after 8 years of marriage ,now he is also 6.5 years in age and doing good in education I only send money fornhis education and when ever wife needs ,we did not have regular sex as we meet frequently in a year about 3-4 months back. Now last one year almost I am abroad from India due to service transfer to Malyasia and feeling our relationship is no more working as my wife stop responding my calls and clearly told he is not interested on me.as she is very upgraded in her carrier and feeling disturbed about my calls ....and not even return call when she free of work...I am suppose to do what ? Please suggest.

Ans: Hello Suman,
It sounds like there have been significant changes in your relationship dynamics, especially with your wife's focus on her career and the physical distance between you due to your work in Malaysia. Even though your wife may not be responding to your calls, it's important to continue trying to communicate with her. Express your concerns and feelings openly and honestly, but also try to listen to her perspective without judgment.Try to understand your wife's perspective and the reasons behind her behavior. It's possible that she may be feeling overwhelmed with her responsibilities or experiencing other challenges that are affecting her responsiveness. Consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist who can facilitate communication and help both of you work through your issues. A neutral third party can provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts and rebuilding your relationship. Reflect on what you want for your future and what you're willing to do to salvage your marriage. Consider your own needs and priorities, as well as those of your son. If possible, try to spend quality time together when you visit India or when your wife can join you in Malaysia. Building positive experiences together can help strengthen your bond and rekindle your connection. Lean on friends, family, or support groups for guidance and emotional support during this challenging time. Having a strong support system can help you navigate through difficult situations.Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're feeling overwhelmed or distressed.
Ultimately, rebuilding a relationship takes time, effort, and commitment from both parties. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and an openness to change.

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Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi

Dear madam , My name is Suman ..44+ years I was married since 14 years and live ng separately after marrige last 14 years due to both we are working professionals and my wife lost his father before our marriage and she needs to take care of her mother and family For that after marriage we leave separately and we was a great understanding and we have a boy after 8 years of marriage ,now he is also 6.5 years in age and doing good in education I only send money fornhis education and when ever wife needs ,we did not have regular sex as we meet frequently in a year about 3-4 months back. Now last one year almost I am abroad from India due to service transfer to Malyasia and feeling our relationship is no more working as my wife stop responding my calls and clearly told he is not interested on me.as she is very upgraded in her carrier and feeling disturbed about my calls ....and not even return call when she free of work...I am suppose to do what ? Please suggest.

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Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Question by SN - Apr 28, 2024Hindi

Hi, I have a divorcee daughter aged 45 whose unpleasant and quarrelsome behavior is a constant source of misery and headache for whole of the family. Her marriage could not go beyond 2 months as her in-laws turned out to be greedy, troublesome and also found involved in some fraudulent activities with a few police cases against them -- which forced us to seek divorce. I may add that my daughter ever since she was 13 or 14 yrs became a little self-willed and considered her to be always right in action and thought in front of parents or any one else. This has become very serious now. She is not at all open to any kind of reasoning or discussion. If you always act, think or do as per her wish, it is ok otherwise she will start fighting on any thing or every thing. Her attitude of selfishness and always finding faults with other family members including parents is spoiling the peaceful atmosphere of the house. Expecting any kind of adjustment from her is asking for the moon. Kindly advise.

Ans: Dear SN,

I can understand how challenging it must be to deal with your daughter's behavior. It's concerning that she's been displaying this attitude since she was young and that it's causing such turmoil within your family.

Consider seeking the help of a family therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with family conflicts. A professional can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.It's important to establish clear boundaries with your daughter regarding her behavior. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Encourage Open Communication: Even though your daughter may be resistant to discussion, continue to encourage open communication within the family. Let her know that you're willing to listen to her perspective and work together to find solutions. Instead of solely focusing on her negative behavior, try to reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Praise her when she acts respectfully or cooperatively, and try to reinforce those behaviors. Show your daughter how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully by modeling those behaviors yourself. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, and instead, try to remain calm and rational.If your daughter is open to it, encourage her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist can help her explore the underlying reasons for her behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your daughter to reflect on her behavior and its impact on herself and others. Help her recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
It may take time and patience, but with consistent effort and support, there is hope for improvement. Remember to take care of yourselves and seek support from other family members or friends if needed.

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Answered on Apr 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi

My boyfriend's ex happens to be his sister-in law's sister (first cousin). That was his first serious relationship and she had dumped him. It has been quite a few years since, but it bothers me that he is indirectly still related to her. My boyfriend's sister-in-law has a daughter (his niece) whom he loves very much. But whenever he talks to his sister in law or plays with the kid, it makes me uncomfortable. I am broadly uncomfortable with the fact that he is the uncle to the same kid his ex is aunt to. Which means they are somewhat familialy related. I have seen his ex post videos of the kid playing around in his house, which means she still gets regular updates about his household through her sister (his sister-in-law). I really don't want to get into something this complicated, but I love my boyfriend very much. He also loves the kid a lot which makes me hate myself for projecting my hate on the kid/sister-in law because they're not at fault. But it really bothers me whenever I hear the kid's voice or his sister in law's because that reminds me of his ex. I feel extremely insecure and uncomfortable and I don't know how to deal with this, but I really want things to work out between my boyfriend and me. What is the solution?

Ans: It sounds like you're dealing with a complex situation that's bringing up a lot of emotions for you. It's completely natural to feel uncomfortable or insecure in a situation like this, especially when there are reminders of your partner's past relationship.

First and foremost, communication is key. Talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend about how you're feeling. Let him know that you're struggling with these emotions and that you want to find a solution together. It's important for him to understand where you're coming from and to be supportive of your feelings.

Additionally, try to focus on building trust and strengthening your relationship with your boyfriend. Remind yourself of the reasons why you love him and the bond that you share. Trust that he's committed to you and that his past relationship is just that – in the past.

It's also worth considering setting boundaries with your boyfriend's sister-in-law, particularly when it comes to sharing information about your household or your relationship with his ex. Let her know that while you appreciate her relationship with your boyfriend and her niece, you would prefer to keep certain aspects of your personal life private.

Remember, it's okay to feel the way you do, but it's important to address these feelings constructively and work towards a resolution that allows you to feel comfortable and secure in your relationship.

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Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi

My son is 13, diagnosed with anxiety spectrum at age 8.His medications have reduced , takes fluvoximine 50 at night, but has social media addiction,what should i do?

Ans: Managing a child's social media addiction, especially when they have underlying mental health concerns like anxiety, can be challenging but crucial for their well-being. Start by having an open and non-judgmental conversation with your son about his social media use. Express your concerns about how excessive screen time can impact his mental health and overall well-being.Establish clear rules and boundaries around screen time and social media use. This could include limiting the amount of time he spends on social media each day or setting specific times when he's allowed to use it.
Lead by Example: Model healthy screen time habits yourself. Show your son that you prioritize face-to-face interactions, hobbies, and other activities over excessive screen time.Encourage your son to engage in offline activities that he enjoys and that promote social interaction, physical activity, and creativity. This could include sports, hobbies, art, or spending time with friends and family.Keep an eye on your son's social media use and monitor the content he's consuming. Consider using parental control apps or settings to limit access to certain apps or websites.If your son's social media addiction is significantly impacting his mental health or daily functioning, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating addiction and/or anxiety. They can provide individualized strategies and support for managing his social media use in a healthy way.
Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies: Help your son develop healthy coping strategies for managing his anxiety, such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in calming activities when he feels overwhelmed.
By taking proactive steps to address your son's social media addiction and providing support for his anxiety, you can help him develop healthier habits and improve his overall well-being. Remember to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding, and seek professional support if needed.

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Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Question by T - Apr 18, 2024Hindi

Hi ! I am a 38 year old divorced woman. Its almost 10 years that I got divorced, from a man with whom I was married for 2 months. Since then, I never had a long relationship with anyone. For the past 1 month, I feel I have developed feelings for my cousin (sister) who is 10 years older to me. She too is divorced, long back. (2006). I understand she too has feelings for me. What should I do. Please suggest.

Ans: Navigating feelings for a family member can be complex, especially when considering societal norms and potential family dynamics. It's understandable to feel uncertain about how to proceed in such a situation.

First and foremost, it's important to consider the potential implications and consequences of pursuing a romantic relationship with your cousin. While relationships between cousins are not legally prohibited in many places, they can sometimes face social stigma or disapproval from family members.

Before taking any further steps, it's crucial to have open and honest communication with your cousin about your feelings and concerns. Discussing your mutual feelings in a respectful and sensitive manner can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and make informed decisions about how to move forward.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and help you navigate your feelings and the potential impact on your family dynamic. They can also offer strategies for communicating effectively and managing any challenges that may arise.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to pursue a romantic relationship with your cousin is a deeply personal one that only you and your cousin can make. It's essential to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and consideration for the feelings and well-being of everyone involved.

Regardless of the outcome, remember that you deserve to pursue happiness and fulfillment in your relationships, and seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals can help you navigate this situation with clarity and confidence.

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Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi

I got married three months ago, during courtship period my ex was in my office but then my marriage wasn't fixed properly ,when it got yeses from both the side I changed my office,but I couldn't tell this to my husband and also I lied about my virginity,he was also not virgin and after marriage I confessed all this ,now he is not forgiving me for my dishonesty and not letting me come home also he abuse me verbally ,slapped me..I also feel like cheated for not letting me know this side of him before marriage..How should I go ahead?

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your new marriage. It's concerning to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse and physical violence from your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

First and foremost, if you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, please reach out to local authorities or a trusted friend or family member for support. Your safety is paramount.

In terms of next steps, it's essential to seek support and assistance from professionals who can help you navigate this situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and domestic violence. They can provide you with guidance, support, and resources to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Additionally, you may want to consider reaching out to organizations or hotlines that specialize in supporting individuals experiencing domestic violence. They can offer confidential support, safety planning, and resources to help you leave the abusive situation and rebuild your life.

It's also crucial to recognize that you are not responsible for your husband's abusive behavior, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect in your marriage. If your husband is unwilling to seek help or change his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your options for leaving the relationship to ensure your safety and well-being.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. There are people and resources available to support you every step of the way. Please prioritize your safety and take steps to protect yourself from further harm. You deserve to live a life free from abuse and violence.

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Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi

I am single mother of 12 year old boy and got divorced last year after 7 years of living seperate from my ex husband, I got married in 2010 through matrimonial site and had very toxic and abusive relationship, so I came to my maternal home in 2016 completely. There were many occasions when he approached me and promised to behave properly but failed to do so . He only filed for divorce by making false accusations of being characterless. I gave him divorce and in return I got very less alimony or the amount which was given in cash to them in my marriage. Now I came to know that he remarried and living his life . He is still in contact with my son and sometimes he blame me and my parents for this divorce. My first question is that is he trying to manipulate my son ( he is not bearing any education expenses of my son) And when I ask my son if I can also move on in my life, he refuses and says I don't want to share you with anyone. So I am very confused.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing. It sounds like you've been through a lot and are trying to navigate a difficult situation for both yourself and your son.

Regarding your ex-husband's behavior, it's possible that he may be trying to manipulate your son, especially if he is blaming you and your parents for the divorce. Children can be susceptible to manipulation, especially when they're caught in the middle of a divorce. It's important to maintain open communication with your son and reassure him that the divorce was not his fault and that both you and your ex-husband still love him.

As for your son's reluctance to see you move on, it's not uncommon for children of divorce to struggle with the idea of one or both parents moving on and forming new relationships. Your son may fear losing the close relationship he has with you or worry about how a new relationship might change his life. It's essential to validate his feelings and reassure him that your love for him will not change, regardless of any new relationships you may have.

It might also be helpful to involve a therapist or counselor who can work with both you and your son to navigate these emotions and provide support during this challenging time. Additionally, continuing to foster a strong, positive relationship with your son and maintaining open communication will be crucial as you both move forward.

Ultimately, while it's important to consider your son's feelings, it's also essential for you to take care of yourself and pursue your own happiness. Balancing your needs with those of your son can be challenging, but with time, patience, and support, you can find a way forward that works for both of you.

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Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Question by Mahendra - Apr 23, 2024Hindi

I AM DIVORCED AND MARRIED TWICE BUT BOTH DIVORCED AND ALSO PLANNING TO REUNITE WITH FIRST SPOUSE WITH WHOM I HAVE DAUGHTER

Ans: Mahendra, you've had quite a journey in your relationships. Reuniting with your first spouse and considering your daughter's well-being is definitely a significant decision. Have you had the chance to reflect on what led to the previous divorces and what you envision for your future together? Open communication and understanding each other's perspectives can be key in rebuilding a strong foundation for your relationship.

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Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Question by K - Apr 19, 2024Hindi

I am working in a good priviate company for the last 32 years . For the last 6 months I am loosing interest in work orin office wanted to stay at home. But I had realised that even at home during holidays/sundays I do not feels good at all, dont like to talk intereact etc. even do not like to visit any wheres . all the tims=es scared about unwanted worries . Plesae tell me the solution.

Ans: Dear K
It sounds like you may be experiencing a deeper sense of disengagement and possibly even symptoms of depression or anxiety. It's important to address these feelings and seek support from professionals if needed. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with support and guidance. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your feelings and develop coping strategies to manage them. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, spending time outdoors, and engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is crucial for managing stress and improving your mood.Even if you don't feel like socializing, try to stay connected with friends and loved ones. Having a support system can provide comfort and perspective during difficult times.Reflect on what gives your life meaning and purpose beyond work. Consider volunteering, pursuing hobbies, or engaging in activities that align with your values and interests. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that it's okay to have periods of low motivation or energy. Set realistic expectations for yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.If you're experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety, such as persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or worry, consider speaking with a psychiatrist. They can assess your symptoms and recommend appropriate treatment options, which may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both.Establishing a daily routine can provide structure and stability, which can be especially helpful if you're feeling aimless or unmotivated. Try to incorporate activities that bring you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past regrets or worrying about the future. Mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and reduce stress.
Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and you don't have to navigate these feelings alone. There are resources and support available to help you work through this challenging time and rediscover a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your life.

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Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi

I am 46 years and fairly healthy, been into my profession for 24 years and am department head at present.For last one year I have started feeling I am falling short of new ideas, creativity and motivation for self . Often it so happens that I just sit at the office and complete my chores but unable to get any enthusiasm for work. What could be the reasons, how to change????

Ans: It sounds like you may be experiencing a bit of burnout, which is quite common, especially after dedicating many years to your profession. Burnout can manifest as feeling depleted of energy, lacking motivation, and struggling with creativity and enthusiasm for work. You've been in your profession for 24 years, and as a department head, you likely have a lot of responsibilities. Overworking without taking breaks can lead to burnout. After years of experience, you may find that your current role lacks new challenges or opportunities for growth, leading to boredom and decreased motivation Stress from work or personal life can contribute to burnout and drain your enthusiasm for work.

Make sure you're taking regular breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge. Consider taking a vacation or a long weekend to disconnect and relax. As a department head, you likely have the ability to delegate tasks to your team members. Trusting others to take on responsibilities can lighten your workload and give you space to focus on more meaningful or challenging tasks. Identify new goals or projects that excite you and align with your professional interests. This could involve exploring new areas within your field, taking on a leadership role in a different capacity, or pursuing professional development opportunities. Look for inspiration outside of your usual routine. This could involve reading books or articles related to your field, attending conferences or workshops, or networking with professionals in your industry.Take care of your physical and mental well-being by prioritizing activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. Consider seeking guidance from a mentor or coach who can provide support, advice, and perspective as you navigate this phase of your career.
Remember that it's normal to experience periods of low motivation and creativity, especially after many years in the same profession. By taking proactive steps to address burnout and reignite your passion for work, you can find renewed energy and enthusiasm for your role.

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Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi

I am 48 years old married for 21 years with two teenage kids. Before I got married to my wife, I got to know about her affair that went for 3 years and just ended before our marriage. She didn’t tell me by herself and got shocked when she got to know that I found it by some means. Still she didn’t reveal much. I did not know the level of their relationship, and thought it would end up after marriage. We agreed that she will never bring her past anymore. After 7 years of marriage, she again tried to contact him on email but when she realised that I have some clue, she accepted that she had tried to contact him just as a friend. The problem here is, while vacating our ancestors house last week, I found a bunch of letters from his bf that were of before marriage. I was shocked to know why she was retaining all these letters till now. When I read through all those letters, it hurts me a lot. Would not she have destroyed all these after I got to know at very first instance? I know that she may not be in touch any longer but it is being difficult for me to accept the fact why she was carrying all this to till now. Please help me to come out of this situation. Thank you.

Ans: It sounds like you're dealing with a very difficult and painful situation. Discovering your wife's past affair and finding the letters from her ex-boyfriend must have stirred up a lot of emotions for you. It's understandable to feel hurt, betrayed, and confused.

First and foremost, it's essential to take care of yourself emotionally. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully without judgment. It's natural to experience a range of feelings, including anger, sadness, and even disbelief. Talk to someone you trust about what you're going through—a friend, family member, or a therapist who can offer support and guidance.

In terms of your relationship with your wife, open and honest communication is key. It's important to express your feelings to her in a calm and constructive manner. Let her know how finding the letters has affected you and ask her to explain why she kept them. Try to approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to understand her perspective, even if it's difficult.

It's possible that your wife kept the letters out of sentimentality or for reasons that are unrelated to her feelings for her ex-boyfriend. However, it's important for both of you to address any underlying issues that may have contributed to her actions. Trust is a crucial component of any relationship, and rebuilding trust after a breach can take time and effort from both partners.

Consider seeking couples counseling to work through these issues together. A trained therapist can provide a neutral space for you and your wife to explore your feelings, improve communication, and rebuild trust in your relationship.

Remember that healing from betrayal takes time, and it's okay to seek support and guidance as you navigate this challenging situation. Take things one step at a time, and prioritize self-care as you work through your feelings and decide how to move forward.

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Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2024Hindi

Hello ma'am I'm 29 year old independent girl. I and my boyfriend (14 years relationship) want to marry each other but my parents and the whole family not agreeing with us because of intercaste marriage. His family already convinced for us and they are willing to accept me without my parents permission but the boy denied to marry me without my parents blessings. He always saying that one day your parents will understand your feelings and they will agree but I tried to convince them from last 3 years but my parents are saying that they will not give their permission for intercaste marriage due to what people will say. I have 3 elder brother but no one wants that I can marry to my partner. He is independent business owner running his own store. my parents are saying that we will keep you at home for entire life but never agree for the love marriage like this. I don't understand what should I do and what not . I'm feeling very depressed and disturbed all the time . Please suggest me the best solution for this situation

Ans: Navigating intercaste marriage in Indian society can indeed be challenging, but it's important to remember that your happiness and well-being should be paramount. Here are some suggestions tailored to the context of Indian society and relationships Start by trying to understand the specific concerns your parents have about the intercaste marriage. Is it fear of societal judgment, concerns about cultural differences, or something else? Understanding their perspective can help you address their concerns more effectively.Consider involving a trusted family member or elder who can act as a mediator between you and your parents. Sometimes, having a respected third party intervene can help facilitate a more productive conversation and bridge the gap between generations. Seek support from within your community or cultural circle. Sometimes, hearing from others who have successfully navigated intercaste marriages can help reassure your parents that such unions can be successful and fulfilling.Take the opportunity to educate your parents about the changing dynamics of relationships and marriages in modern Indian society. Share stories and examples of intercaste marriages that have thrived, and emphasize that love knows no boundaries. Changing deeply ingrained beliefs and cultural norms takes time. Be patient with your parents and continue to express your love and commitment to your partner. Sometimes, repeated conversations and demonstrations of your sincerity can gradually soften their stance. Consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or therapist who specializes in intercultural or intercaste relationships. They can provide you with personalized advice and strategies for navigating the complexities of your situation.While it's always preferable to have your parents' blessing, remember that ultimately, the decision to marry is yours. If all efforts to persuade your parents fail and you feel that marrying your partner is the right choice for you, consider exploring legal options such as court marriage. Take care of your mental and emotional well-being during this challenging time. Lean on your partner, friends, and support network for emotional support, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Remember, you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you for who you are, regardless of societal expectations or family objections. Stay true to yourself and your values, and trust that with patience, understanding, and perseverance, you can overcome the obstacles in your path.

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Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Question by Rajesh - Apr 05, 2024Hindi

Goodmorning I am working in PSU. I exposed a fraud in my company few years ago. Nothing happened to culprits. Rather they continued to gain elevations and reached to top management. Well as anticipated, I am being regularly victimized, my career for promotions got spoiled and now working disgracefully. I suffered heart attack in my office due to such disgraceful treatment in workplace. I even filed a law suit against my no promotion but all this take years and said culprits after enjoying time are retiring or hv retired recently. Suggest me to overcome this situation which many may be facing as consequences of honesty in our country. How can I use these people for mental harrassment and loss of time and money in career and life. I am male 57 yrs old and left with 3 years of service. Thanks.

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you've faced as a result of exposing fraud in your company. It's disheartening to hear that you've experienced victimization and unfair treatment in the workplace, especially considering your dedication to honesty and integrity.

While it's understandable that you may feel angry and frustrated about the lack of consequences for those involved in the fraud, it's important to focus on finding ways to overcome the situation and move forward.Your health and well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you cope with the stress and trauma you've experienced. Continue pursuing legal avenues to seek justice for the mistreatment you've faced in the workplace. While it may be a lengthy process, holding those responsible for the fraud and your mistreatment accountable can provide a sense of closure and vindication. Keep detailed records of any instances of harassment, discrimination, or mistreatment you've experienced in the workplace. This documentation may be valuable evidence if you decide to pursue legal action or file a complaint with relevant authorities. Evaluate your career options and consider whether it may be beneficial to seek opportunities outside of your current company. You deserve to work in an environment where you're treated with respect and fairness. Lean on friends, family members, and colleagues who can offer you support and encouragement during this challenging time. You're not alone, and having a support network can make a significant difference in your ability to cope with adversity.Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or enjoying nature. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is essential for resilience and well-being. While it's natural to dwell on past injustices, try to focus on the future and what you can control. Set goals for yourself, both personally and professionally, and take steps to work towards them. Given that you have three years left of service, consider your retirement plans and whether it may be beneficial to retire early or explore other options for transitioning out of the workforce.

Remember that you have the strength and resilience to overcome this difficult situation. It's not easy, but by taking care of yourself, seeking support, and exploring your options, you can navigate through this challenging time and find a path forward

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Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2023Hindi

We are married for the past 15 years and we both were divorced at the time of our marriage. We are in 50's, well earning, with grown up kids (from previous marraiges) who are studing abroad. I feel all my issues are left unaddressed and whenever i bring them up, my husband shuts down. I always speak my mind and he never responds. Just silent. Now i feel that i should spend the rest of my life at some ashram, where i am not required to speak, and live a simple life. I can call you for more details if you can share your number

Ans: I understand that you're feeling frustrated and unheard in your marriage. It can be incredibly challenging when communication breaks down in a relationship, especially when important issues are left unaddressed. However, it's important to remember that seeking support and making decisions about your future should be done carefully and thoughtfully.

Before making any major decisions, I encourage you to consider the following steps:

Seek Counseling: Couples counseling can be incredibly beneficial in addressing communication issues and working through relationship challenges. A trained therapist can help facilitate productive conversations and provide guidance on how to navigate difficult topics.

Express Your Needs: Clearly communicate to your husband the importance of addressing the issues in your relationship. Let him know how his silence makes you feel and express your desire for open and honest communication.

Explore Individual Therapy: Consider seeking individual therapy for yourself to explore your feelings and gain clarity on what you want for your future. A therapist can provide support, guidance, and insight as you navigate this challenging time.

Consider Your Options: It's important to carefully consider your options before making any decisions about your future, including spending time at an ashram. Reflect on what you truly want and what will bring you the most fulfillment and happiness in the long term.

Take Time for Self-Care: Prioritize self-care and focus on activities and practices that bring you joy and fulfillment. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is essential as you navigate this challenging time.

Reach Out for Support: Lean on friends, family members, or support groups for emotional support and guidance. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you can provide comfort and perspective as you work through your relationship issues.

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Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Question by Sanjay - Mar 17, 2024Hindi

I am in depression

Ans: Remember that you are not alone, and there is hope for recovery. With the right support, treatment, and self-care strategies, it is possible to manage depression and live a fulfilling life. If you're in crisis or feeling suicidal, please reach out to a mental health professional or a helpline for immediate support. You deserve help and support, and there are people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time.

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Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2024Hindi

Hi i am frustrated due to personal marital problems,old parents,Work from Home and many more reasons due to monotanus routine please guide me out how to overcome this problem/situation

Ans: Dealing with a combination of personal, family, and work-related stressors can certainly feel overwhelming, but there are steps you can take to help overcome these challenges and find balance in your life. Make self-care a priority in your daily routine. This might include activities like exercise, meditation, spending time outdoors, engaging in hobbies you enjoy, or simply taking a few moments each day to relax and unwind. Set clear boundaries between your work life and personal life, especially when working from home. Create a dedicated workspace, set specific work hours, and communicate with your employer or colleagues about your availability. Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support. Talking to someone you trust can help you gain perspective, process your emotions, and find solutions to your problems. If you're experiencing marital problems or feeling overwhelmed by caregiving responsibilities for your elderly parents, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your loved ones. Express your feelings, listen to their perspective, and work together to find solutions that benefit everyone involved. Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine to help reduce stress and increase self-awareness. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can help you stay grounded and focused in the present moment.If you're struggling to cope with your stressors on your own, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with personalized support, coping strategies, and tools to manage your emotions more effectively.Schedule regular breaks throughout your day to rest and recharge. Even short breaks can help reduce mental fatigue, improve concentration, and increase productivity. Instead of dwelling on things that are out of your control, focus on taking proactive steps to address the issues you can influence. Break tasks down into manageable steps and tackle them one at a time. Cultivate a sense of gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply taking a few moments each day to reflect on the things you're thankful for can help shift your perspective and improve your mood. Introduce variety into your routine to help break up the monotony and add excitement to your day. Try new activities, explore different hobbies, or connect with new people to keep things interesting and stimulating.Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and that prioritizing your own well-being is essential for maintaining balance and resilience in the face of life's challenges. By implementing these strategies and taking proactive steps to care for yourself, you can overcome adversity and find greater fulfillment and happiness in your daily life.

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Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2024Hindi

Hello ma'am, I am student of 12th and I have my jee mains exam in three days and I don't think I can do well it .I don't want to take a seat in exam ,my parents and everyone is accepting a good result but I am sure that I can't score good , because of all this pressure and depression I am having suicidal thoughts and I can't even focus on study , please suggest me some way to cope it

Ans: It sounds like you're under a tremendous amount of pressure, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. First and foremost, your mental health and well-being are the most important things, and it's essential to prioritize them above all else. If you're having suicidal thoughts, it's crucial to reach out for help right away. You can call a helpline, talk to a trusted adult, or seek support from a mental health professional. Your safety is the top priority. It's important to share what you're going through with someone you trust. Whether it's a friend, family member, teacher, or counselor, opening up about your feelings can help lighten the burden and provide you with much-needed support.Be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Remember that it's okay to struggle, and you're not alone in feeling this way. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Instead of focusing on the exam as a whole, try to focus on studying for short periods of time, taking breaks when you need them, and acknowledging your progress along the way. Incorporate relaxation techniques into your routine to help reduce stress and promote a sense of calm. Deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation are all helpful strategies. It's important to set realistic expectations for yourself. Remember that nobody is perfect, and it's okay if things don't go exactly as planned. Focus on doing the best you can with the resources and support available to you. Consider reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional who can provide you with additional support and guidance. They can offer coping strategies, help you work through your feelings, and provide you with a safe space to talk. Remember to take care of your physical health as well. Make sure you're eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular physical activity, as these can all have a positive impact on your mental well-being.Try to identify and limit sources of stress in your life, if possible. This might mean taking a break from social media, setting boundaries with others, or asking for help with tasks that feel overwhelming. Instead of dwelling on things that are out of your control, focus on what you can control. This might include your study habits, self-care routine, and the support you seek from others.

Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this difficult time. You're not alone, and there are resources and options available to help you cope with what you're going through.

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Answered on Mar 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2024Hindi

See our marriage was fixed by our parents, when we first met we really like each othe.. Then 2 months gone without talking as he was not found in any social media, so i couldn't connect him neither he approached.. Then our engagement got fixed we started talking.. He got suspicious when i told him that i am connected to my ex like friends.. He then go on and searched privately my past history locations and he got to know that i dated some people and had sex with some of them.. He got furious and broke our marriage then we continue talking and enjoyed each other company.. He gave me gifts like jewellery, chocolates and so on.. And he was jealous if i talk to someone of my past life.. I stopped talking to anyone else accept him.. Still he denied marrying me when i asked.. Then our families serched for other marriage prospects.. We got jealous and fought.. Still his marriage is fixed with someone who is not interested in him and he inclined towards me more romantically still.. And got jealous when i met with my marriage prospects though my marriage is not fixed. Now we are still talking and he is not leaving me. He supports me really well, and i also love him. What should i do?

Ans: It sounds like you're in a complicated situation, and there are a few important things to consider here.

Firstly, communication is key in any relationship. It's important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about your feelings, concerns, and boundaries. Discuss how his jealousy and possessiveness make you feel and try to understand his perspective as well.

Secondly, trust is fundamental in a healthy relationship. If your partner is resorting to secretive methods to gather information about your past, it may indicate a lack of trust. Trust is something that needs to be built and maintained over time through consistent communication, honesty, and mutual respect.

Thirdly, it's crucial to assess whether this relationship is truly fulfilling and healthy for both of you. Are you both able to support each other emotionally without feeling controlled or restricted? Are you able to be yourselves and pursue your own interests and friendships?

Lastly, consider seeking guidance from a professional counselor or therapist who can provide unbiased support and help navigate the complexities of your relationship. They can offer valuable insights and strategies for improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a stronger foundation for your relationship.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do next is yours to make based on what feels right for you and what is best for your well-being. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own happiness and emotional health.

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Answered on Mar 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2024Hindi

My husband and I have arranged marriage. I am 37 , I have High PMS problems with mood swings, inability to do regular work. Though I have tried to tell him that he may need to be patient about what I say during those 10 days, I feel he doesn't understand this. He gives me example of his mother or sister and how they didn't face this issue. I m highly irritable and unsure of myself and how I will react during this phases leading to conflict. I feel that he doesn't understand me and it makes me guilty, depressed and I don't know what to do. I want to remain silent during these phases. Now I have a function to attend of his relatives during this time, but I don't want to talk to anyone and don't have the energy to pretend. But I know he won't understand this as well.

Ans: it's understandable that you're feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Dealing with mood swings and high levels of irritability during PMS can be difficult, and it's important to have understanding and support from your partner. Try to have an open and honest conversation with your husband during a time when you're both calm and relaxed. Explain to him the nature of your high PMS symptoms, how they affect you, and what you need from him during those times. Express your feelings and concerns, and let him know that his understanding and support are crucial for you.Provide your husband with information about premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and its symptoms. Help him understand that every person's experience with PMS is different, and just because his mother or sister didn't face similar issues doesn't mean your experiences are invalid.It's okay to set boundaries for yourself, especially during times when you're feeling overwhelmed or irritable. Let your husband know that during your difficult days, you might need some space and time alone to recharge. Assure him that it's not personal and that you still love him, but you need to take care of yourself. Focus on self-care techniques that can help alleviate your symptoms during PMS, such as regular exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness meditation, and relaxation techniques. Prioritize activities that help you feel more grounded and balanced. Consider consulting with a healthcare professional or therapist who specializes in women's health or mental health. They can provide you with personalized strategies and support to manage your PMS symptoms and any associated emotional difficulties. If you feel too drained to attend the function, communicate this to your husband. Explain that you're not feeling up to socializing due to your PMS symptoms, and ask for his understanding and support in skipping the event. If it's absolutely necessary for you to attend, try to find ways to conserve your energy, such as limiting interactions and taking breaks when needed.Remember that it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and advocate for your needs in your relationship. Your husband may need time to adjust and understand, but with patience, empathy, and clear communication, you can work together to find solutions that benefit both of you.

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Answered on Mar 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi

Hello Gurus, I am in trouble. I was living in Canada from last 10 years till last year when I had to come back to India - my father was not well. My father passed away in November last year - but my mother is alone and is not in best health. My wife feels that I have cheated her by getting her back from Canada and she wants to go back immediately. She feels that my elder brother (who is in Australia) should take care of my mother. Our relationship has soured over last few months as she is always using brutal language for my mother and for my brother - in fact, it has always been the case - but so far I was just ignoring her. But now every time she says something nasty, I strongly retaliate back. On top of it, my wife is pregnant too. I am in trouble - I don't know what to do - whether to go back to US and leave my mother alone or with my brother - or to stay back and fight with pregnant wife :(

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing. It's a challenging time with the loss of your father and the health concerns of your mother, compounded by tensions in your relationship with your wife. It's essential to have open and honest communication with your wife about your concerns, fears, and the challenges you're facing as a family. Express your feelings calmly and listen to her perspective as well. Consider seeking the help of a couples therapist who can assist you both in navigating the difficulties in your relationship. A therapist can provide a neutral space for you to address conflicts, improve communication, and find constructive solutions together.Reach out to other family members, such as siblings or extended family, for support with caring for your mother. Discuss the situation with them and explore potential options for providing care and assistance to your mother while also considering your wife's needs and concerns.Take some time to carefully evaluate your options and consider the potential consequences of each decision. Reflect on what is most important to you in terms of family, relationships, and your own well-being.Ensure that the health and safety of both your mother and your wife, especially given her pregnancy, are prioritized in any decision you make. Seek medical advice if necessary to address any health concerns.Remember to take care of yourself emotionally and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. It's essential to prioritize your own well-being as you navigate these challenging circumstances.
Ultimately, there may not be an easy solution to your current dilemma, but by approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to communicate and seek support, you can work towards finding a resolution that is best for you, your wife, your mother, and your growing family.

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Answered on Mar 28, 2024

Question by Rajesh - Feb 22, 2024Hindi

My wife is a teacher and she is rude to me and to my parents . we are married from last 23 years and now parents are 83 years old, my wife now and then quarrel with them and keep on saying that you should leave, relationship between us is also not good, we have no physical and emotional relation from last 15 years. Although my home is in my name she keep on saying i will file a case an take this house, this is my house and i will through you all out of the house. She is well educated and teacher in a good english medium school. what should i do. what legal angle me and my parents has ?

Ans: Given the potential legal implications regarding property ownership and any threats your wife has made regarding the house, it's advisable to consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law. They can provide you with specific legal advice based on your situation and help you understand your rights and options.

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Answered on Mar 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 24, 2024Hindi

Hello ma'am, I am a 17 year old girl feeling vulnerable and angry at times to the point that i end up breaking things and this affects my relationship with my parents. I feel very lonely most of the time....especially when i see other people chilling with their friends. Please help.

Ans: it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and lonely, especially when you see others enjoying social connections. Here are some suggestions that may help you manage your feelings of anger, loneliness, and vulnerability:Find healthy ways to express your emotions. Instead of breaking things, try journaling, drawing, or talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling. Be kind to yourself and recognize that it's okay to feel the way you do. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.Reach out to someone you trust, whether it's a friend, family member, teacher, or school counselor. Talking to someone about how you're feeling can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide support. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it's pursuing a hobby, volunteering, or joining a club or group where you can meet like-minded individuals. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to help you learn coping skills and strategies for managing your emotions in healthier ways. A therapist can also provide a supportive and non-judgmental space for you to explore your feelings and experiences. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and meditation, can help you stay grounded and present in the moment, reducing feelings of anger and vulnerability. If certain situations or relationships are contributing to your feelings of anger and loneliness, it's important to set boundaries to protect your well-being. This might involve limiting contact with certain people or seeking support to address challenging family dynamics.Take care of your physical and emotional needs by prioritizing self-care activities such as getting enough sleep, eating healthily, and engaging in regular exercise.Practice identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to your feelings of loneliness and anger. Replace them with more balanced and compassionate thoughts. Healing and personal growth take time, so be patient with yourself as you navigate through this difficult period. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that you're not alone in your struggles.
It's okay to ask for help, and reaching out for support is a courageous step toward healing and well-being. You deserve to feel supported and connected, and there are people and resources available to help you through this challenging time.

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Answered on Mar 28, 2024

Question by Mohnish - Mar 25, 2024Hindi

I feel depressed most of the time. What can I do?

Ans: Depression can be a difficult thing to navigate, but there are steps you can take to start feeling better. Here are some suggestions:Consider reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist. They can provide support, guidance, and potentially medication if needed.Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer encouragement and understanding. Engage in regular physical activity, even if it's just a short walk each day. Exercise can help improve mood and reduce feelings of depression. Establishing a daily routine can provide structure and stability, which can be particularly helpful when dealing with depression.Take time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's reading, spending time in nature, or pursuing a hobby.Try to identify and challenge negative thought patterns. Cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques can be particularly helpful for this.Identify sources of stress in your life and work on finding ways to manage or reduce them. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. Poor sleep can exacerbate feelings of depression. Focus on consuming a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Avoid excessive consumption of caffeine and alcohol.If recommended by a healthcare professional, consider medication as part of your treatment plan. Antidepressants can be effective for many people. Even if you don't feel like it, try to stay connected with others. Social support is important for maintaining mental well-being. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and set realistic goals for yourself. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
Remember that it's okay to ask for help, and recovery from depression is possible with the right support and treatment. If you're in crisis or feeling overwhelmed, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional or a crisis hotline for immediate assistance.

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Answered on Mar 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2024Hindi

Hi I'm a 35 year old unmarried female working in IT field. I live with my parents. I've been unlucky in finding a perfect partner for myself (arrange marriage proposals only). N I'm tired of this entire process now. Have never been in love or relationship earlier. I want to get married desperately to have that companion for me in my life as an emotional anchor. My parents are old n my elder brother's health is deteriorated enough that doctors said he doesn't have much time to live. I'm so much into all these issues at home that i feel i don't have a personal space at all. Recently I came across an alliance from a well trusted relative's friend who's a divorcee, within a month of marriage (n because of the wife's past relationship that was hidden during marriage), they applied mutual divorce. My horoscope has some dosha which seems to be perfectly matching with this person's jatakam. I've been asked twice to think about this alliance as he's genuinely a good person. Kindly advise me what best I can do now.

Ans: It sounds like you're facing a lot of pressure and stress from various aspects of your life, including your family situation and the pressure to get married. Its understandable that you feel desperate to find a life partner given your family circumstances, but it's important not to rush into a decision. Marriage is a significant commitment, and it's crucial to take the time to make sure you're making the right choice for yourself.Consider carefully the alliance that has been proposed to you. Take the time to get to know the person and assess whether you share compatible values, goals, and lifestyles. Look beyond the superficial aspects such as horoscope matching and focus on the substance of the relationship.If you have any reservations or doubts about the alliance, don't hesitate to communicate them openly and honestly with your family. It's essential to have open communication and ensure that your concerns are addressed before moving forward.Given the stress you're experiencing at home with your brother's health and your parents' situation, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being. Consider seeking support from friends, family members, or a counselor who can provide guidance and perspective during this challenging time.If you're feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to get married through arranged marriage proposals, consider exploring alternative avenues for finding a life partner. This could include online dating, social events, or networking through mutual connections.Take some time to focus on yourself and your own needs and desires outside of the pressure to get married. Pursue hobbies, interests, and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and prioritize self-care to maintain your emotional well-being.Ultimately, trust your instincts and intuition when it comes to making decisions about your future and your happiness. Don't feel pressured to conform to societal expectations or family pressures if it doesn't feel right for you.
Remember that your happiness and well-being are paramount, and it's essential to prioritize your own needs and desires as you navigate this challenging time in your life. Take things one step at a time and trust that you will find the right path forward for yourself.

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Answered on Mar 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 23, 2024Hindi

Dear LG, I need urgent advice on upcoming Holi . I m a 27year old women married to a 33 yr old Merchant Navy Officer . I am happily married with one male kid. Thing is whenever any festival or any help is needed since my husband is in overseas, I had to depend a lot on my husbands close friends in Society. But at times during festival like Holi , these good friends seems coming more closer to me than needed . I realized this in first year when we shifted there . It was like molestation..brazen touching ...in guise of helping..and while playing holi . But later i realized its attraction towards my body and didnt objected much . Last year we even had Bhang and didnt even knew what these friends did to me .I was confused as I dont want to break relations with my husbands friends quickly, so i didnt mind they touching inside blouses or gaghras during Holi but definitely didnt want to sleep with any. I am already happy physically with my husband even though his profession makes a huge gap in our relationship. Then comes dilemma when his friends jokingly tell me that my husband must be happy there with russian , netherland girls. This is obviously to provoke me to sleep with them . I am also in consideration to do so if my husband indeed has physical relations abroad . I dont want my loyalty to be insulted and body disrespected when 4-5 guys are hungry to sleep with me together also. Please advise honest action putting oneself in my shoes.

Ans: I'm deeply concerned to hear about your situation. It's completely unacceptable for anyone to take advantage of you, especially under the guise of celebration or friendship. It's important to prioritize your safety, well-being, and dignity in any situation.It's crucial to establish clear boundaries with your husband's friends. Let them know in no uncertain terms what behavior is not acceptable to you. If they continue to cross these boundaries despite your objections, it may be necessary to reconsider your relationship with them.If you feel uncomfortable or violated by someone's actions, don't hesitate to speak up immediately. It's important to assert yourself and make it clear that such behavior is unacceptable.You mentioned that you have to rely on your husband's friends for help during festivals and other times when your husband is away. While it's understandable to seek assistance, it's also important to prioritize your safety. Consider reaching out to other sources of support, such as neighbors, family members, or local authorities, if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.If you feel that your husband's friends are trying to manipulate or pressure you into something you're not comfortable with, trust your instincts. You have the right to say no to any unwanted advances or requests, regardless of the circumstances. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about what's been happening. Express your concerns and let him know how his absence has affected you and your interactions with his friends. Your husband may be able to offer support or help find a solution to the situation.
If you're struggling to navigate this situation on your own, consider seeking assistance from a counselor or therapist. A professional can provide guidance, support, and strategies for dealing with difficult relationships and setting boundaries. Remember that your well-being is paramount. Don't compromise your values, dignity, or safety for the sake of maintaining relationships or appeasing others. It's important to prioritize yourself and take steps to protect yourself from harm.
Ultimately, it's essential to take action to ensure your safety and well-being in any situation. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and support if you need it. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity at all times.

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Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi

I usually study at night till 3-4am. But after having dinner with family I feel very lonely when I am back to my room. It feels that it would be too nice if I had someone by my side till late at night. I cannot disturb my parents by asking them to be in my room and sleep with lights on. I just feel too lonely that I feel the 'need' to use social media apps and watch some videos that make me laugh or feel better. This has been happening from some weeks and I know that after 4-5 months I have to leave my house to live in hostel. I just feel so sick to be alone from now on.

Ans: Remember that it's okay to feel lonely at times, and it's important to be gentle with yourself during these moments. By finding healthy ways to cope with loneliness and nurturing connections with others, you can navigate through these feelings and cultivate a sense of comfort and belonging, even when you're alone.

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Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi

Hi Sir. I have a typical.problem here. I lend.money to one of.mynfriends for his bzness..I worked as a consultant for him. I made an agreement for the money given to him. Nevertheless he didn't return the money yet..I left him now some months back. Though I asked him to give bac money but he says he has lost lot in his bzness and also says he can't return the money. Sometimes indirectly he says that because of me he has landed in loss. I don't want to go.legally but it has been lot.ot.months that he has returned money. But now I can't wait. What should I do now..pls advise. Thanks

Ans: Navigating financial matters within friendships can be challenging, especially when agreements aren't upheld as expected.

Initiate an open and honest conversation with your friend about the loan. Express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing. Use "I" statements to convey how his actions have impacted you personally.
Give your friend an opportunity to explain his side of the story. Listen attentively to understand his perspective and the challenges he's facing with his business. Empathize with his situation while also emphasizing the importance of fulfilling financial commitments.
Instead of dwelling on past grievances, shift the conversation toward finding a solution that works for both of you. Explore options such as renegotiating the repayment terms, setting up a payment plan, or considering alternative forms of compensation if he's unable to repay the full amount immediately.
Validate your friend's feelings and concerns about the situation, but also assert the impact his actions have had on you. Help him understand the importance of honoring agreements and maintaining trust in the relationship.
Clearly communicate your expectations moving forward. If you're unable to reach a resolution or if your friend continues to disregard the agreement, be prepared to set boundaries to protect yourself financially and emotionally. This might involve seeking legal advice or taking further action if necessary.
While it's important to address the financial issue, prioritize preserving the friendship if possible. Reassure your friend that your intention is not to harm the relationship but to find a mutually beneficial solution. Emphasize the value you place on your friendship and your desire to work through this challenge together.
Use this experience as an opportunity for personal and relational growth. Reflect on what you've learned about trust, communication, and financial boundaries in friendships. Apply these lessons to future interactions to prevent similar issues from arising.
Ultimately, finding a resolution to financial disputes within friendships requires patience, empathy, and effective communication. By approaching the situation with understanding and a willingness to collaborate, you can work toward a solution that honors both your financial needs and the integrity of your relationship.

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Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi

Hello, I am 35 years old. Married. Not living with husband since an year, as he flirted with an office girl (this is the extent of it that I caught) and has tendency to do so. He is not emotionally aware (of himself or me) and I keep getting hurt as I am quite emotional. Also, I am not on talking terms with his parents as they had tried to sabotage our marriage in different ways on countless occasions. My husband wont agree (not that I want him to agree), but I think that's one reason of our increasing differences. I love him, but cannot find in my heart to move back with him ever again. We have a 5 year old kid, due to whom I am unable to move ahead with divorce. I am stuck in the midst, not knowing where to go next or stay in this same 'married but separated ' position forever. I'm definitely happier without the everyday petty bickering that we had when we lived together (which was turning me into a bitter and angry person, I don't want to be that). I have turned extremely distrustful of him. I do feel very lonely at times. We also went to a guidance counsellor to make the relation work some 1.5 years back, but my husband felt its a waste of money after 5 sessions, also he never invested in the emotional sorting that the counsellor mentioned our relation required. Any guidance?

Ans: It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation. Here are some steps you might consider as you navigate your next steps:

Take care of yourself first and foremost. This means prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and explore your options moving forward.
Take some time to reflect on what you want for yourself and your child in the long term. Consider what kind of environment you want to create for your child, as well as what you need in terms of emotional fulfillment and stability.
If you feel comfortable, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns and feelings. Express how his actions have affected you and what you need from him moving forward. However, be prepared for the possibility that he may not be receptive or willing to change.
Consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options regarding divorce, custody, and child support. They can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation and help you navigate the legal process.
Regardless of whether you choose to stay married or pursue divorce, prioritize effective co-parenting for the well-being of your child. This may involve setting clear boundaries, communicating openly about parenting decisions, and prioritizing your child's needs above any personal conflicts.
Consider exploring alternative living arrangements or custody agreements that may better suit your needs and preferences. This could include living separately while co-parenting, or exploring shared custody arrangements that provide stability for your child while allowing you to maintain some distance from your husband.
Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups for additional support and guidance. It can be helpful to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences and can offer empathy, advice, and solidarity.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay married or pursue divorce is a deeply personal one that only you can make. Take your time, trust your instincts, and prioritize your own well-being and that of your child as you navigate this challenging process.

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Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2024Hindi

I am finding it hard to talk with strangers/random people whom I've known in the past but not in contact for a while and finding it hard to recognize some which makes them feel awkward. What should I do, are there exercises I could do/should I accept that about me, maybe be upfront about it but that will be awkward too? Age 24

Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.

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Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi

Hello..I am 36 hrs old, a doctor, got married for 2nd time in Apr 2022. My 1st marriage was with a doctor in 2011 but we hardly stayed together for 1 month since he was away in another state for higher education. Indifference arose and we got separated soon after 6 months and got divorced 5 yrs later. Then i did job on off and finally finished my post graduation in 2024. During my post graduation i wanted to desperately get married for 2nd time as my age was increasing and i was feeling very lonely and wanted to settle down n have kids. I met a guy (he too a doctor and divorced) on matrimony. He approached me. We started talking, meeting. Everything was going good. But his mother was against our relationship. In between the guy too cut the contact with me. But i was wo trully in love with him that I wanted to marry him only. Somehow we got connected again. He came to my place and we lived together. He said he can't get married so soon. He said he would marry me only of i wl get pregnant.then i got pregnant and finally he married me in temple. Soon i delivered our child and his parent's accepted me n i went to his house to stay. There we used to have lots of fights as he revealed his true nature of being extremely KANJUS. his whole family was extremely kanjus. My husbnd doesn't like to spend a single Rs too and he doesn't like it if i spend my money too. We used to have frequent fights. Then hardly after 2 months, his mother called my parents and she told them that their sje could not tolerate me and i should leave tbeor house ASAP! I became very furious as my baby was jst 4 months old. Where would i stay alone with my child as i was studying. I called police to intervene and my mother in law got very angry, she cursed me in front of police- she called me a pros***ute. (This was her thinking- any woman who marries for 2nd time is a pros***ute!!!) Finally that night around 10pm i left her house with my child and some essentials. My parents stayed with me to look after my child. My husbnd kept visiting me on weekends. But my husbnd used to avoid me, block my calls. He never paid for my daughter's expenses too. A year have been passed. I have sent my baby to my parents house 6 months back as they wanted to go back as they stay in different state. Now my husbnd has cut all the ties, he has blocked me everywhere and he never called to enquire about our child in last 8-9 months. Last time when my father called him- he said he didn't wanna stay with me and I either can keep our child with me or i can give the child to him for rest of the life. I slipped into depression after all these. I messed up in my exams. I'm so disturbed that i had thought of ending my life many times but i reminded myself about my child. Now I don't know what to do. I talked him about divorce but he said he won't give me a single Rs aftr divorce since i am also earning. My parents too don't want me to go for a divorce 2nd time in my life as they are worried- our relatives and society will shame them. I want to bring my child back but i am worried- how will i take care of my baby since i am working. Please help. Keep me anonymous please.

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation, but please know that there are options available to you and support systems that can help you through this.

Firstly, it's important to prioritize your and your child's safety and well-being. Given the circumstances, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice from a lawyer who specializes in family law. They can help you understand your rights and options regarding custody, child support, and divorce.

Regarding your depression, it's crucial to seek professional help. Depression is a serious condition that requires treatment, and there are therapists, counselors, and support groups available to provide you with the support you need.

In terms of bringing your child back, you may need to explore options for childcare that accommodate your work schedule. This could include hiring a nanny, enrolling your child in daycare, or seeking help from family members or friends.

As for the societal pressure and fear of judgment from relatives, remember that your well-being and your child's well-being are the most important considerations. It's essential to prioritize your own happiness and safety rather than worrying about the opinions of others.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to support services such as hotlines, counseling services, or support groups for assistance and guidance. You're not alone, and there are people who can help you navigate through this challenging time.

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Answered on Mar 17, 2024

Question by Sanjay - Mar 17, 2024Hindi

Above scenario i am in depression

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Depression can be a difficult and overwhelming experience, but it's important to know that you're not alone and that there are people who can support you. If you can share some details about your scenario it will help me to know more

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Answered on Mar 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2024Hindi

How to stay motivated when everything around you is falling apart?

Ans: Staying motivated in challenging times can indeed be difficult, but it's not impossible.Recognize that there are certain things you can control and others you can't. Direct your energy towards what you can control, such as your actions, attitudes, and responses to situations. When faced with overwhelming tasks, break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can make the goal seem less daunting and help you maintain motivation as you achieve each step. Remind yourself of your goals, values, and the reasons why you started in the first place. Connecting with your sense of purpose can provide the motivation you need to keep going. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a support network for help and encouragement. Sometimes talking to someone who understands can provide the perspective and motivation you need. Be kind to yourself during difficult times. Acknowledge your efforts, even if they fall short of your expectations. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend facing similar challenges. Take some time each day to visualize yourself overcoming obstacles and achieving your goals. This can help reinforce your motivation and keep you focused on the end result.

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Answered on Mar 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2024Hindi

Hi. I am a 52 year old male, my wife is 53 and we have two grown up kids and a pet. I was in a job till 2018 and thereafter switched to my own practice and there were some financial compromises which had to be made including home shifting etc. My wife befriended certain females who I suspect led her towards a lot of spiritual gyaan though those females were more into their personal material life. My wife became so involved with them and their topics that even when we were intimate she would pause and talk about them. That gave me a kick away from physical relations with her. She currently is more into a lot of spirituality and drawn to such friends and some widowed family members who only take her towards that path. I want to lead a normal intimate life with her as I love her and do not want to hurt her. I took her to a Gynae too for check ups and she only has the normal issues which a woman of her age would have. Children and spirituality have become her priority and pet has become mine's. How do we get back as a normal couple?

Ans: It sounds like you're going through a challenging time in your relationship, and it's understandable that you're feeling disconnected and frustrated. Reconnecting with your wife and rebuilding intimacy can take time and effort, but it's definitely possible.Sit down with your wife and express your feelings openly and honestly. Let her know how her focus on spirituality and her friendships have affected you and your relationship. Avoid blaming or accusing her, but rather focus on expressing your own feelings and concerns. It's important to understand where your wife is coming from and why she's prioritizing spirituality and her friendships. Listen to her without judgment and try to empathize with her perspective. Understanding each other's motivations can help you find common ground. Explore activities or interests that you both enjoy and can do together. This could be anything from going for walks, cooking together, or attending a class or workshop that interests both of you. Finding common ground outside of spirituality can help strengthen your bond as a couple. Prioritize quality time together as a couple. Schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways where you can focus on each other and enjoy each other's company without distractions. Show your love and affection for each other through small gestures, compliments, and physical touch. Rebuilding intimacy often starts with reconnecting emotionally and expressing your love for each other in meaningful ways. Reconnecting as a couple takes time and effort, so be patient with each other and yourselves. It's normal to encounter setbacks along the way, but stay committed to working through them together. Remember that rebuilding intimacy and connection in a relationship is a journey, and it may not happen overnight. With patience, understanding, and effort from both of you, you can work towards restoring your relationship and creating a fulfilling partnership once again.

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Answered on Mar 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2024Hindi

iam crying simply simply iam getting negetive thoughts.what is my problem who can I quire.

Ans: Try to pinpoint what is triggering these negative thoughts. Is it a specific event, situation, or something else? Understanding the source can help you address it more effectively.Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, just talking about what you're going through can provide relief and perspective. Take care of your physical and emotional needs. This could include getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that bring you joy or relaxation.If your negative thoughts persist or interfere with your daily life, consider reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. They can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your thoughts and emotions effectively.

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Answered on Mar 06, 2024

Question by Ankit - Mar 05, 2024Hindi

I've been married for 9 years and I love my wife and 2 beautiful kids infinitely. I have an issue where my voice gets raised when she taunts me, tells lies, keeps stuff hiding or that gets converted into an argument and finally, my wife stops talking with me for days/months (last time she took 2 months to start talking normally which lasted less than a month) I always apologise for my overreaction but still she cries and says I’ve sacrificed everything for you and tell me what have you sacrificed till date and to be honest I’m not a person to count the sacrifices that I do for my family because it’s my family and it’s my love & responsibility towards them. However, I keep trying by apologising and she still shows me attitude and taunts me always trying to make me realise my mistake then again I become furious and I feel like all my efforts of making life normal are going in vain which triggers a lot of pain in me and I mentally & and emotionally suffer. I many times told her that I only live for you & kids. I told her my anger would last for a few minutes but I'll become normal in some time and I also told her that I'll work on my anger & reactions in future. I told her many times that not everyone is perfect if I have 1 negative point, then I also have 1 positive point and vice versa. I now feel like I'm compromising my mental & and emotional health and she kept me also away from my physical needs when I needed the most. I don’t need anything else but support and love in the ups & downs of my life as a normal couple. I just need my wife to understand me as a human who can make mistakes and try to learn from them. I don’t know what to do as I just can’t suffer from her behaviour towards me and sometimes alone or at bedtime, I feel as if she is happy without me and doesn’t want to make our life normal as a family then why don’t I give her peace by letting her go or I end everything.

Ans: It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of emotional turmoil and frustration, and it's important to find constructive ways to address these issues and improve your relationship. Effective communication is key to resolving conflicts and strengthening relationships. It's important to have open and honest conversations with your wife about your feelings, concerns, and the impact of her behavior on your well-being. Encourage her to share her perspective as well, and try to listen empathetically without becoming defensive Consider seeking individual therapy or counseling to explore healthy coping mechanisms, stress management techniques, and strategies for managing anger in a constructive way. Learning to regulate your emotions can help reduce conflicts and improve communication in your relationship Make an effort to prioritize positive interactions and moments of connection in your relationship. Engage in activities that bring you joy and strengthen your bond as a couple and as a family. Celebrate each other's accomplishments, express gratitude, and show appreciation for the small gestures of love and kindness. Ultimately, every relationship requires effort, understanding, and compromise from both partners. It's important to approach these challenges with patience, compassion, and a willingness to work towards positive change. If despite your best efforts, the relationship continues to cause you significant distress and unhappiness, it may be necessary to reevaluate your options and consider what is best for your overall well-being.

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Answered on Mar 06, 2024

Question by G - Mar 04, 2024Hindi

Dear Sir, I am married for 10 years and are blessed with a daughter. My wife is very supportive, and we both are working middle class professionals. We usually take our parents along with us whenever we go for any vacation. My mother-in-law and my parents love travelling and openly inform me if they are disinterested in visiting any place. The issue is with my father-in-law. My father-in-law is 80 years and working full time and keeps himself occupied. He is healthy and can walk around easily considering his age. We have visited many places together (both locally and domestic travel) and whenever I ask my father-in-law about his feedback about the place visited/activity performed, he often tells me that he is not interested in any of the activities/places visited and prefers sitting in one place. This really bothers me as to the reason for my father-in-law accompany us and instead, send only his wife would have travelled with us. My mother-in-law is also fine travelling without him. My father-in-law could have simply sat at home or perform his office duties. There is always a cost factor incurred for flight or train travel/stay in a hotel/food/local travel whenever we visit any place, and we could have saved lakhs of rupees if my father-in-law had not visited any of the places. I discussed this with my wife who informed that she feels happy taking her parents and we should not discuss the issue with my father-in-law openly as it will hurt him. If my father-in-law was genuinely interested, I would not have minded spending money, but because of his negative feedback, I feel we could have rather invested the saved money for future use. Please advise.

Ans: It's understandable that you're concerned about the cost incurred for family trips, especially when your father-in-law doesn't seem as interested in the activities. Balancing family dynamics and expectations can be challenging.While your wife has advised against discussing the issue with your father-in-law openly, it might be helpful to have a gentle and respectful conversation with him. Express your concerns about the costs involved and inquire about his preferences for future family trips. Understanding his perspective may provide clarity on whether he genuinely enjoys the travel or if there's an alternative arrangement that could work better for everyoneIf your father-in-law prefers staying in one place, consider suggesting alternatives that may still allow him to be a part of family vacations without compromising his comfort. For example, you could plan trips to destinations with more relaxed environments or activities that cater to his interests. This way, everyone's preferences can be accommodated to some extent. Discuss with your wife the importance of budgeting for family vacations. Consider setting aside specific funds for travel and allocate them wisely to maximize enjoyment for everyone involved. This may involve finding a balance between accommodating your father-in-law's preferences and exploring new destinations or activities that the rest of the family enjoys Ultimately, finding a solution that works for everyone may require compromise and understanding each family member's needs and preferences. Open communication and flexibility can go a long way in navigating these dynamics and ensuring that family time is enjoyable for everyone involved.

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Answered on Mar 06, 2024

Question by KKR - Feb 05, 2024Hindi

I have been married for 23 years and father of 3 children. My age gap with my wife is 11 yrs. I have been helping my in-laws for the last 13 years financially every month and also additional medical costs. I am a single breadwinner and i earn a good income but unable to save much as my wife dont have any economic sense. secondly, she is a highly depressed woman and always threatens me of suicide or shall leave home scaring my children who are around 16 yrs of age and disturbing their studies. even a small counter point she will take it seriously and shout at me for a very long and will make all sorts of threats. I am fed up with this type of relationship with her and I am helpless as my children have another 5 yrs to go to reach adulthood. She spends too much not on luxuries but unnecessary expenses and social costs like gifts to friends and relatives and spends a lot of time for temple or pooja activities with addtional expenses.

Ans: Dear KKR
It's evident that you're dealing with a significant amount of stress and emotional strain due to your wife's behavior and financial situation. It's important to establish clear boundaries in your relationship with your wife. Communicate your concerns about her behavior and the impact it's having on you and your children. Let her know that threatening suicide or leaving home is not a healthy or productive way to resolve conflicts, and express your willingness to support her in seeking help and finding healthier ways to cope Consider sitting down with your wife to have an open and honest conversation about your financial situation and the importance of budgeting and saving for the future. Explore ways to track expenses, prioritize needs over wants, and work together to set financial goals that align with your family's long-term objectives. Consider consulting with a legal or financial advisor to explore options for protecting your assets and securing your financial future, especially if you're concerned about your wife's spending habits and the impact it may have on your financial stability. It's important to remember that you're not alone in dealing with these challenges, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate this difficult time. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for guidance and support, and prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of your children as you work towards finding solutions to your current situation.

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Answered on Mar 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2024Hindi

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It's clear that both you and your wife are experiencing significant distress, and it's important to find constructive ways to address these issues and improve your relationship. Effective communication is key to resolving conflicts and strengthening relationships. Focus on active listening, empathy, and expressing your thoughts and feelings in a calm and respectful manner. Encourage open and honest dialogue with your wife, and be willing to listen to her concerns and perspective without becoming defensive or dismissive It's commendable that you recognize the need to work on your anger and reactions. Consider seeking individual therapy or counseling to explore healthy coping mechanisms, stress management techniques, and strategies for managing anger in a constructive way. Learning to regulate your emotions can help reduce conflicts and improve communication in your relationship Make an effort to prioritize positive interactions and moments of connection in your relationship. Engage in activities that bring you joy and strengthen your bond as a couple and as a family. Celebrate each other's accomplishments, express gratitude, and show appreciation for the small gestures of love and kindness. Ultimately, every relationship requires effort, understanding, and compromise from both partners. It's important to approach these challenges with patience, compassion, and a willingness to work towards positive change. If despite your best efforts, the relationship continues to cause you significant distress and unhappiness, it may be necessary to reevaluate your options and consider what is best for your overall well-being.

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